8.3.2018


I'm  just sitting here in my fluffy pyjama, All bright from Yankees Candle smells all over the room  and I'm just relaxing. I really need it.

Last couple  weeks or maybe months I felt under pressure all the time. Because of the wedding, new job, our future... actually  I can't think of anything that doesn't stress me these days. After three years  abroad is very hard to get used to it here. Most of the time I feel like I don't belong here anymore.

Do you know the moments, when you're trying to convince yourself that everything will be fine and after a months,  everything is still the same?  I was very excited, that we will spend more time with our friends, but we found out, that it doesn't matter if we are 18 000 km away or just 200. It's still far for them.

I was naive when I hoped that everything will be the same like three years ago, but I now realize that it can't be,  I´m not the same person anymore. The girl who cried every night in bed, because she was homesick is gone. Of course I love  my family and I love my country, but I'm not sure, if now is the right time for me to be back, 'cause it feels like big step back to my past, not forward.

Actually I donť know what exactly I want in this moment, but I know that when we were in Dublin in December, it felt more like home, than when we  came back to our hometown.

We still have 5 months to our wedding and during the time we have to figure out what will be the next step. Stay here, move back to Dublin or find  some other place. We'll see.

 What about you? Do you have some  big plans for this year??

Have  a good night,
G.


G.      
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1 komentář:

  1. Přeji ti, abys našla sama sebe, ať jsi spokojená, ať už budete kdekoliv a vedle kohokoliv. Myslím, že v dnešní době si hodně klademe takové otázky ohledně toho správného života, správných pocitů, naplnění... a ono pořád nic. Asi je čas myslet jinak, hlavně zahnat pryč tu prázdnotu, pocit, že jsme cizí, tam kde zrovna jsme. Možná je to právě správně - našla jsi jiný způsob myšlení, povznesla ses nad trápení, které tu ještě jsou ... a raději je nehledej a buď taková, jaká jsi. Ať Vám všechno vyřizování vyjde. :))

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